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Jon
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« on: March 17, 2009, 02:12:46 PM »
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will
this take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I
stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without
missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?'
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Daryl Bartkunsky
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« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2009, 04:15:29 PM »
very very very good mr jon....
so is this topic for the jokes that dont fall under any other topic??
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Jon
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« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2009, 06:45:47 PM »
thats the plan...
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Dnoch
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« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2009, 06:46:47 PM »
hahahahahaha. very good  Grin
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Failure is not setting one's goals too high and not achieving them, it is setting one's goals too low and achieving them.
Jon
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« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2009, 04:13:54 PM »
So newly-elected President Obama's first action as President is to close Guantanamo Bay.
You know the economy is bad when even terrorists are losing their homes.

I was walking down the street today and I found a wallet.
I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought, "If I lost a hundred and fifty quid, how would I feel?"
And I realised I would want to be taught a lesson.

How come when I print my own money to get out of a financial crisis its called forgery and I get 10 years inside, yet when the Bank Of England do it it's called a strategy?

What's the difference between the Government and my pants?
There's only one prick, a couple of nuts and one arsehole in my pants. And sometimes a cunt gets in.

What's the difference between the government and organised crime?
One is organised.

Just finished a good s***, and there was no toilet paper
on the floor was a copy of The Star, so i thought that'll do
f*** my luck ,it was full of crap already.

Am i the only one that found it extremely ironic that Rihanna is beating Chris Brown in the album charts?

Where's Rhianna at the moment?
In the kitchen, if she knows what's good for her!
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jman
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« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2009, 07:07:24 PM »
wats the hardpart about eating a vegetable?
the wheelchair Grin
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